THE OXYGEN

Every fire must have oxygen in order to continue to burn. Even the very smallest spark, must have oxygen. You, the parent, need to view yourself as the oxygen for the fire. You are an essential component in the Fire Philosophy. Sure, you could release your child to burn on his own, but without the oxygen there - praying, encouraging, lifting up, and offering some helpful suggestions - the fire would go out quickly.

What does it take to be good oxygen?

It takes a dedication to your children. You must be dedicated to uplift them. You must be dedicated to pray for them. You must be dedicated to "be there" for them when they need assistance or guidance. You must also be dedicated to stay out of the way when they need you to.

To be good oxygen we need to have strong relationships with our children. We need to know what makes them tick. We need to be ever watchful for that spark in their eye, which can turn into a raging fire if given the oxygen to burn.

So, how do we act as the oxygen for our children?

One way is to know the different ways children learn. Some children are tactile learners. They like to touch things. If you are teaching a tactile child how to read, you might cut the letters out of sandpaper so he can feel them. Others are auditory learners. Hearing information is the best way for them to process that information to their brains. Then, there is the visual learner. Yes, you guessed it. They learn visually. They will be fairly easy to teach how to read. But getting them to remember dates that you have read to them will be a little trickier.

There are some neurophysiological studies that have proven that there are even more factors involved than just a child's predisposed learning style. These other factors include temperature, sound, light, and even food intake. Did you know that some children learn better when they can sip on water, than if they didn't have anything? Some children learn better with music on and some better when it is totally quiet.

I'll never forget a time when a grandmother called me in despair. She had begun home schooling her grandson and he wasn't able to sit at his desk and read to her for the 30 minutes she was requiring of him. After talking with her for a bit, I discovered that her grandson enjoyed curling up on the couch with grandma having cookies and hot chocolate. I told the grandma to try reading with that environment the following day.

She called me the next night, and boy, was she excited! They had made cookies, got the hot chocolate, curled up together under the afghan on the couch, and he read to her for almost an hour!

Cynthia Tobias has a wonderful book out called, The Way They Learn. This is a MUST READ for parents who are implementing the Fire Philosophy of home schooling.

I recommend that you try to incorporate as many of the learning styles in the education of your children as possible. This will have a two-fold effect. First, they will be able to function at their optimal level because they'll be learning in harmony with their learning style, and thus, in harmony with the way God made them to learn. Second, it will give them exposure to the other modes of learning, essentially making them more rounded learners. When children are exposed to learning in all the various modes, they receive each style in doses small enough to handle.

When you take a hands-on learner, for example, and thrust him into an environment that is mostly auditory, he cannot learn as much as he could if he were allowed to "feel" what he is learning. You can, however, use both philosophies at the same time. Let's say you're doing a unit on flight. You've chosen a great book to read to your children. All the information they need to know is in the book, so you plan to read it, and then give your children a test to see what they have learned. You will be surprised when the tests are turned in and one child appeared to learn NOTHING. Hey, I've been there. I know what it's like to spend time and energy teaching something to my children only to have them appear to know nothing when it comes time to take the test. But the light at the end of the tunnel appears when the tactile child constructs a model of the first Wright Brother's plane. If he is allowed to construct while you read, he will retain more. Now, I know that this is difficult for some of you "I-can-only-do-one-thing-at-a-time" people. But believe me, some children simply must be doing something in order to absorb what's going on around them. That is the nature of the tactile learning style.

On the other hand, there are also those children who would be so absorbed in doing the model that they would hear muffled sounds in the background, not even noticing that you are reading a really great book to them. As parents trying to teach more than one child at the same time, it is imperative that we learn what is the best environment for our children to learn in.

I have often thought that with eight children I would eventually get two that are the same. I have not. Yes, there may be just four learning styles, but within them are multiples of combinations. So your job as an educating parent is to learn your child. This is not an easy task, but it is also not impossible. You simply need to do your homework first.

There are many experts in the area of learning styles. Seek them out and discover.

The Fire Philosophy of home schooling works for a variety of children with a variety of learning styles. I want to remind you, however, that the Fire Philosophy of educating your children is God directed/parent following/with child input. It will not work if any of those three things get out of order. If you are allowing your child to direct, that puts God either following or simply with input. God must direct. Please do not forget that. Read Proverbs 3: 5 & 6.

As we are home schooling our children, we need to view our family with the goal in mind that we are to glorify God first and foremost. That is our chief goal in life and in education. We cannot separate them.

One of the greatest advantages to home schooling is the enhancement of family unity. I've heard parents say time and time again that when they brought their children home, they became a family once again.

Because of the desire to promote family unity, we do a lot of our subjects or units together as a family. Daddy cannot always be in on every subject, but he is often in on the decisions as to what we are going to study next.

We often will have meetings, though no one really calls them "meetings," where we discuss the different subjects the children would like to study. We will often come to the meeting with ideas already. For example, we decided that whatever we were going to study next needed to have a lot of geography. We also wanted it to be missionary related. So, when we came to the meeting, we had already been directed to the mission field. All we needed was some input from the children as to what mission field would be interesting at the time. It was a unanimous vote for South America.

In this "meeting" they got excited about the prospect of studying South America. We were the oxygen that fanned the flame. As we talked about some of the exciting things we would learn about, they became more excited. They couldn't wait to begin. One of the things we want to be sure our children grasp is that they aren't going to simply stand back and soak up information. When we study a geographical region, the children go on a trip to the place we're studying. When we study an historical time period, the children are thrust back in time. If we study a famous scientist, the children watch as he tries one experiment after another. Education is an adventure. As your children learn in this way, they will discover that they desire to go on more adventures.

No matter what you are studying, even if your children are doing individual textbooks, all it takes is a little extra "air" to help fan the flame. If there isn't even a hint of spark in your child, just add in some extra oxygen, and it will come.

The oxygen comes in at all stages of a fire. It is needed at the point of spark. It is needed as the fire grows and grows. It is even needed when the flame blossoms into a raging inferno.

Sometimes, however, you will see when the fire is going out. You can see when there is no spark. Sometimes, as we are following the Holy Spirit, it may be time for the fire to be extinguished. There are other times that the fire wants to go out, and yet it still needs to rage a while longer. That is when we must add some fresh oxygen.

Keeping on the subject of South America - let's say you've been studying a couple of countries for a few weeks and the fire is beginning to go out. What do you do? You want to do a little bit on each country but the kids seem to think, "You've studied one country, you've studied them all". Here's one suggestion: tell them that within one of the countries there lies a hidden treasure. You, the oxygen, figure out which country has the hidden treasure. You can hide it anywhere. Each day, give a clue or two as your children "explore" different countries, trying to see if they can find the hidden treasure.

I'll spell it out for you a little bit more. You have decided that the hidden treasure is buried deep within the Amazon jungle of Ecuador. These are all clues that you are giving the children: "An Indian Chief holds the treasure in a special place. The hut is as long as a basketball court."

You don't tell them that it's in Ecuador, you don't tell them it's the Auca Indians; you just tell them that an Indian Chief is holding the treasure. As you give them clues, they discover that it isn't in the country that they've studied for the past few days. They will go on to the next country, and the next, until they get to all the countries. Then, they will add up the clues you've given them and discover that the hidden treasure is the Gospel of Jesus Christ. It's hidden in the heart of the Auca Indian Chief, the same chief who ordered the killing of four missionaries.

As you are playing this treasure game, you may find that you have one child who shows a particular interest in the mission work. You may see that child's heart beat faster as you talk of the tribes that have not yet heard the Gospel of Jesus. You may see tears in their eyes as they think of those who are lost and dying. You may even have one of your children that stands up and says, "I want to do THAT!"

DON'T IGNORE THESE SIGNS! Don't push them under a rug. Don't hide them under a bush. Encourage them. Oxygenate them. (I didn't even make that word up!) This may be their calling; and if you don't oxygenate, they will be missing out on an opportunity to begin working toward their God-ordained purpose.

Helping to develop passions within your children is one of the greatest rewards of parenthood. Aside from my children knowing the Lord, I cannot imagine anything greater than seeing them develop their passions and using them for the glory of God.

There are many things as parents that we can do to help fuel them in their passions. When our children are growing and developing, one of the advantages of home schooling is that they have more opportunities to explore the world around them. They also have the opportunity to participate in the fields they want to go into. If you have a child who would like to be a lawyer, home schooling allows you to provide him with opportunities to see a lawyer "in action". You also have opportunities to talk with lawyers. Perhaps they will even allow your child to work in a law office to see what goes on behind the glamour of the courtroom.

So often what our children want to become is based on what they perceive the occupation to be about. When in fact, the occupation they are choosing is nothing like they thought it would be. I once heard of a study that found an astronomical amount of college graduates not working in their chosen profession. Once they got there, they didn't even enjoy the type of work. What a shame that is.

Another big advantage of home schooling with the Fire Philosophy is that our children aren't forced to be "carbon copy children." In other words, we do not seek to make all of the children fit into the same mold. They are allowed to spend the majority of their time on the gifts and talents to which the Lord has given them. A lesser amount of time is spent on the things they need to learn to "round" them out. For example, our child who has a gift in mathematics is allowed to further their knowledge in that area. While they may still need to learn the rudimentary skills of the English language, they are not required to spend most of their time learning skills that are not even related to their field of study. Of course they do need to be well rounded, but not at the expense of their true gifts. I firmly believe that if we allow them the time to work on their passions and not fill their lives with the unimportant things, we will have young adults who know their place in God's plan, and will work their hardest to accomplish their goals for the Lord Jesus Christ.

Understand, however, that playing video games is considered neither a talent nor a gifting. The reason I mention that is this - there are some parents who would say that if left "to their own", their child would choose video games or television all day long. These are not passions! These are passives! You could even go so far as to call them "snuffers" - you know, like the little things that are placed on top of candles to make the fire go out. As a parent following the leading of the Holy Spirit, it is your job to eliminate the snuffers and to oxygenate the passions.

Furthermore, let your children see the passions that you have. Allow them to see you working at the passions that God has given you. Talk with them about His purpose in their life. I can guarantee that if you oxygenate their passions, you will not need to give them a course on self-esteem. They will have God-esteem. And that is far superior.

I have many moms come to me and say, "That's all well and good, but it's my fire that needs to have some oxygen." That's when I tell them to study something they find fascinating. If you've always wanted to study constellations (but just haven't found the time because you're too busy working with the children) do a study with all the children on that very subject! You will enjoy it. Your enthusiasm will increase. Your children will see that it is desirable to want to learn about different subjects. They will also learn that it can be fun. Perhaps you could do a study on what really happens to socks between the feet and the clean clothes pile. I've always wanted to know that. Haven't you?